The Parents in the Bog
Student’s Name: Delia Artham
Parents/Guardians: Janice and Chester Artham
Birth Date: January 13th, 2001
Grade Level: 4th
Homeroom Teacher: Miss Wormwood
Appearance: Tall, early bloomer, dresses to the latest trends; brunette hair cut in a stylish bob with expert blonde highlights and already has a tan. Wears way more make-up than a ten year old should.
Personality: Low attention span (“TL;DR”); superficial (“Ew. Isn’t there a homeless guy out there that needs those shoes?”); connected (“Those boots are SO out this season — OMG, Vanessa Hudgens looks SO cute in that dress, I have to find one just like it — oh, wow, Erica is checking in at Baskin Robbins AGAIN? What a fatty!”); simple-minded (“I can’t wait until I get out of school so I never have to read again!”)
Favorite Thing: iPhone
Something Good: Knows where everybody is, what they’re doing, and how many friends they have on Facebook.
Something Bad: Is a vapid twit.
Feet (Locations 1-2) 4
Skill: Dodging 2
Guts (Locations 3-6) 3
Skill: Courage 1
Hands (Locations 7-8) 2
Brains (Location 9) 2
Skill: Remember 1
Skill: Notice 2
Face (Location 10) 4
Skill: Putdown 3
Skill: Connive 2
Skill: Text Queen 4
Her cronies, Lindsay and Jordan 1
Daddy’s credit cards 2
Social networks (Facebook, MySpace, Twitter) 3
Only child of a very successful businessman and his charming trophy wife. Delia’s dad is away on business trips most of the time, and while her mother doesn’t work, Janice spends most of her time out with her friends or shopping or being seen at volunteer functions. Delia was originally in private school but repeatedly got in trouble for bullying the other girls; rather than deal with the problem at the source, Delia’s parents transferred her into public school. Delia has had an indulgent childhood so far as her parents would much rather go about their own lives than deal with her. She is provided plenty of money to keep herself entertained with the understanding that if she embarrasses her parents, she’ll be cut off. Delia pretty much lives on the iPhone and her social networking sites; she’s a gossip queen and insists on knowing (and usually insulting) everybody, but she does have admirers who are dazzled by her wealth and seeming sophistication and style.